


At our Meadow

by psyduckappears



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst, College, Distance, Fluff, Love, M/M, Meadow, dream - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-23 23:44:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7484625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psyduckappears/pseuds/psyduckappears
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam is leaving for college and Ronan is scared he might not come back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At our Meadow

Ronan Lynch had long ago learned to recognize a dream. Yes, Ronan knew when he was dreaming, he always did, and so he also knew that he was not awake when he found himself lying in the high grass of the meadow near the forest that once had been Cabeswater.   
Now, something as peaceful as said meadow, this warm summer day with the hot air surrounding Ronan and the rays of the sun shining on his face, Chainsaw cackling somewhere nearby – these usually were no good signs in Ronan's dreams. Usually, it was a warning. Usually, it was a sign that this was going to turn into a nightmare, one that might or might not result in him waking up covered in blood and dirt. Probably not dead but perhaps bringing along one of his night horrors or even, as it had happened some time ago, a dying copy of himself. 

This should have been frightening for Ronan, but the Orphan Girl was not here which meant that he could not be very endangered, at least not yet because if there was a threat, she would always come to warn him in time.   
Yet another thing that was unusual about this dream was how familiar it seemed. Perhaps he had had it before, he could not always tell.   
Anyway, Ronan lay somewhere in the middle of that meadow, twirling pieces of grass between his fingers and listening to the sounds of the beautiful nature surrounding him. He felt calm, at peace for in the past weeks, that had not felt so hard at all anymore. The hunt for Glendower was over, everyone who was important to him was alive and alright. Almost, at least. They had lost Noah, but Ronan had known all along that he did not have much time left. Also Ronan believed that, wherever he was now, Noah was probably okay and that had to be enough for him.   
And of course, Gansey had been disappointed to find out about the death of his beloved Raven King, but that disappointment had vanished in between all the events that had followed and now he was happy to go on his little trip with Blue and Henry. Furthermore, Ronan liked to believe that maybe Gansey himself was the Raven King, maybe after his own rebirth he had carried the soul of the Raven King in himself, maybe that had been the purpose all along and maybe, maybe the hunt had not been a waste after all. Though Ronan knew it had not been, no matter what all of this really had been about. 

Suddenly, Ronan heard steps, someone approaching him from another part of the place. He sat up, at first a little dizzy after staring at the sky for so long, and recognized the figure walking up to him as Parrish. Adam, Ronan corrected himself. His boyfriend. It felt weird to call him that, if Ronan was honest. Not because he did not like it, to have him as his boyfriend, not because he did not love him. It felt weird because after all the strange things they had been through in the past months, it felt weird to use such a normal word.   
Ronan could not help a smile showing on his face as he let himself fall back into the grass. He loved dreaming of Adam, though sometimes it was like he was representing the little voice in his head he desperately wanted to shut up once in a while.  
“You know, you wouldn't have to make up a Dream-Me if you would get up for once and spend some time with the real me”, the dream-boy stated as he sat next to Ronan, who refused to look up at his freckled face.   
“Shut up, Parrish. You love this as much as I do.” Adam ignored his words.  
“Do you realize I am leaving in about... fifteen hours?” Ronan shut his eyes and hissed, in a pained tone, “I do.” “So go and say goodbye.”  
“I can't”, the dreamer admitted. “So tell me to stay”, the dreamed offered, causing Ronan to open his eyes for a moment, just to shoot him a glare and close them again. 

“I can't. I can't hold you back when all you ever wanted was to go to college, leave this shit of a town and get as much distance between it and yourself as possible. You want to leave and you fucking will. Doesn't matter how much I want you to stay.” They both stayed silent for a while, deep in their own thoughts. This was just a dream so Ronan could tell Adam whatever he wanted, but he could never tell this to him in real life. He might be egoistic from time to time, still this was not going to happen, he was not going to keep Adam from making his dreams fulfil.   
“I will come back, you know? “, the blonde boy suddenly said, “It isn't like I'd leave forever, like I'd just forget about you and start a new life somewhere else.”  
Ronan desperately wanted to believe his boyfriend, he really did. But it was like that; Adam went to college so he could get a good job and live independent and far from that horrible small town that was Henrietta. Now, the Barns were not exactly Henrietta, but close enough and Adam surely would find no good job there or anywhere near. And Ronan, … all he had was the Barns and he really was not ready to leave them behind. They held so much memory, so much of his life, of himself. So if Ronan went after Adam, moved to some city or wherever Adam would go, to be with him, he would lose the Barns and be unhappy. And if Adam actually decided to come back to the Barns, to Ronan, after college, live there, he could not fulfil his dreams, so he would be unhappy and Ronan would be unhappy because Adam was unhappy. 

“Ronan”, Dream-Adam suddenly spoke up again, his tone insisting, “You need to wake up now. You need to go and make me want to come back, though I'm sure I already do. If you keep hiding in your dreams, all you do is wasting the time we got left and making me feel like you wouldn't even care.”  
Ronan knew he was right and he nodded, sat up. Then, he took another look at the meadow, taking in the sight of the sun raising in the east before waking up, bringing along a small daisy.

~~~

Again, Ronan and Adam were at that meadow together. It felt very similar to what it was like in Ronan's dream. This time, however, it was real. After Ronan had woken up from his dream only a few hours ago, he had immediately taken Adam there to show him this beautiful place.  
He was playing with Adam's hand, the once chapped skin now healed from the lotion Ronan had dreamt for them. The dreamer smiled at his thought.  
“This is nice”, Adam said after a while, smiling unconsciously. Ronan saw it, and he had to smile to, “That's why I wanted to show it to you, idiot.” The blonde chuckled lightly, “Maybe it can become our meadow. You know, like in that clichéd books and we will sneak out at night and secretly meet up here.”  
“Who are we trying to keep it hidden from?”  
“I don't know. Gansey, maybe? He does act like a protective dad from time to time.” Ronan barked a laugh, “More like, always.”   
Neither of them said anything for a while. Then, hesitantly, Ronan broke the silence once again. “Are you going to come back?”, he asked, adding in an attempt of explanation, “To Henrietta, I mean. After college.”  
“I don't know yet”, Adam replied, honestly, “But I'll always come back to you.” Ronan grinned to himself, then pressed a kiss to Adam's palm. “Fuck, Parrish”, he chuckled, “When the hell did we get so damn cheesy?”


End file.
